Thursday, September 27, 2012

Duck Lips


I'm about to share some valuable information with you. It's the kind of thing you should share with your friends because they could benefit from it as well.

Duck lips. Not the actual bill(beak) of a duck but the face that everybody loves to hate. For the few of you that have been living under a rock (errr bolder - even the rock people would have to know about this) duck lips are created by making your mouth look like it's doing a sort of pout/kiss face. Typically it is used while snapping photos of oneself or in a group photo with friends but a few women seem to have master the art of 24/7 duck lips (or maybe that's just what implants look like??) Either way the face that everybody loves to hate has become a photo standard for facebook/twitter/dating website profile pictures everywhere. And it's time to find out why.

I'm not sure who was the mastermind behind the lips but they did not do anyone a favor in creating the look. I'm told that forcing your lips into this unnatural position makes it seem like you have sexy, big pouty lips. But let's be real here for just a minute. There is nothing sexy about attempting to imitate a duck. In the end it just looks awkward/uncomfortable and well, ridiculous.

If sexy/big pouty lips are what you're going for buy yourself a lip plumping gloss. Or learn how to apply lipstick/stain/gloss in a way that accentuates your lips. Just avoid the duck lips and people everywhere will thank you.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Public Service Announcement

To my fellow public transit users:

It has recently come to my attention that a few of you may not think that deodorant is an essential step in the getting ready routine. I am writing today to remind you that it most certainly is. There is nothing worse than ending your long shift at work with a bus ride to the commuter lot. While the bus ride itself isn't terrible, the up close and personal situations it creates make for a rather interesting 10-20 minutes of your life. Nothing says let's be friends quite like finding your body smashed up against someone else's while you both hang on for dear life. Take today for an example, full bus (not an open seat in sight and the aisle was already crowded) by some miracle I managed to find a spot near the front where I was able to hang onto a low bar (no arms up bus riding for this girl). As I grabbed the hand rail and positioned my bags I felt someone bump into me. I turned my head only to come face to face with an armpit. Sadly the person standing smack dab next to me had opted to hang onto the overhead bar and as the bus took off I found myself standing there with an armpit in my face and a cloud of body odor stench killing the air quality all around me. Longest bus ride to date.

So the next time you're getting ready for your work/school day. Pause and take a moment to make sure you are indeed wearing your deodorant. If not for me do it for your fellow commuter because it's the right thing to do.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

my thoughts on work clothes

The day I found out I got to wear scrubs at work was one of the best days ever. (Probably because it was my second day and I still was in the honeymoon phase of enjoying what I do) When I had my interview one of the supervisors told me it was business casual/ khaki's and a polo. (Which are fine I guess. But when you're not the type to stock polo shirts and khaki pants in your closet it's a major disappointment.) So being told that I was actually allowed to wear scrubs for work was like a blessing. And what's not to love? Relatively cheap, no restrictions on the colors and it's like getting to wear your pajama's to work everyday because they are comfortable (the pants anyways). And if you're not sold yet it requires little thought in getting ready in the morning. I can now focus my attention on iimportant things like my hair and making the perfect cup of coffee. No longer do I find 3 different sets of clothes crumpled on my bedroom floor (it's hard to choose clothes to wear when you're not digging the khaki's and polo's.) Instead I simply walk into my gigantic closet and grab a set of scrubs and I'm out the door. Most days the color of my pants is not important or at least that's what I've been telling myself...

The scrubs selection in my closet slightly resembles that of a collection of Easter Eggs. Not a problem. They are comfortable, colorful, cheerful and they also happen to be very shear. Turns out that this whole time my biggest decision/concern when getting ready should have been what's going underneath said scrub pants. Hospital lighting creates for a rather show and tell situation. So when you quickly get dressed in the morning and throw on scrub pants without thinking you might be surprised when you get to work and discover your neon polka dots (most unfortunate rainy day discovery) or your glittery VS Pink Underwear with large letters on the butt are on display for the world to see.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

does david's bridal have a punch card?!

I recently made a trip into David's Bridal to purchase another bridesmaid dress. I'm what you might call a "frequent flyer" when it comes to visiting/shopping bridal shops. Whether it's a dress fitting/appt. for a friend or myself I've been there enough times to know the color palettes by heart. Since I had already found my dress out of town the weekend before this was just a quick trip to purchase said dress closer to home. I walked into the store halfway expecting to be greeted by my first name and was surprised when they actually had a hard time finding me in their computer system. And that's when it happened....laughter. Followed by the announcement that I was actually listed as Chelsea, Last Name- BRIDESMAID. And welcome to my life. After some more laughing, a joke about how I must do this a lot, and the sales clerks less that enthusiastic response to my "does that mean I get a free dress?!?" question. I decided it was probably time to just update my information, hand over my credit card and thank them for helping me continue my weekend gig for yet another wedding season.

I've heard it time and time again. "your life is like that movie - 27 dresses." To which I always say is fine as long as I too get to have my own James Marsden in the end. And by my own I mean someone equally as great - just taller and more baseball loving/beard growing/flannel wearing, etc. (Am I asking for too much??) And I've never been bother by the 27 dresses jokes since I too am guilty of making them quite frequently. I'm just always surprised when others hear the jokes and stories (like the one above) and respond with this pitiful look and/or the "that's so sad..." comments. I mean let's be honest here - I'm still a good 20 dresses away from getting my own movie so it's not a problem. Outside of the negative cash flow associated with being a semi-pro bridesmaid (-- is that skill set marketable as a key selling point on a resume?) and a closet full of dresses and heels that doesn't get out much. I think it's actually pretty cool that I get to stand up beside some of my closest friends and support them on their special day.


Monday, August 20, 2012

accidental collision

I've always been a magnet for awkwardness, meaning that strange/funny situations always seem to define my life. The bright side is awkward moments make for award winning stories. And while they may not really win me anything but they provide those around me with lots of laughter and quality material to ensure that I can/will be harassed for life.

Since the therapists I work with staff several different clinics throughout the hospital I occasionally have to deliver supplies to one of them during the work day. Pager goes off and I drop what I'm doing in the clinic I'm currently in to grab supplies and skillfully navigate my way through the hospital buildings until I find whatever treatment room they are in. Today was one of those already busy work days since we're using the new computer system and there's a lot going on. So when my pager went off it wasn't the most ideal time to run an errand but in needed to be done. Fast forward though the unnecessary details and I arrived at the treatment room. Since I was in a hurry to get back down to the main clinic I quickly set the items down, and started walking of the the room still talking to the therapist  inside and WHAM. My face collided with the chest of a rather attractive Doctor. Like seriously?! How/who do these things happen to me.  (Never did catch his name just dubbed him Dr. Smell Good - seriously he had some nice cologne) How does one recover from a moment like that? I quickly stepped back, apologized, we laughed and I tried to leave the area as fast as possible praying that no one else had witnessed my awesomeness  mmhm better make that gracefulness.

My brother and his girlfriend tell me that next time I should maybe just try online dating... It's supposedly easier and would allow for a less awkward first meeting. Perhaps one that would leave less of an impression on my face and my pride.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Taking one for your team

When it comes to baseball I'm a Tigers fan. No questions, no excuses, and only a minor exception as I'll root for the Giants on occassion. They have claims on one of my favorite pitchers and they had my favorite bearded closer on their roster until he headed to the DL with an Elbow injury and TJS. Otherwise it's all love and support for my Tigs as I remain a loyal fan.

The other day I was clinic hopping for work. As I was leaving one site to head back to another I found myself leaving the building at the same time as a rather attractive gentleman coming out of a different clinic. It was one of those "glad I looked up from my phone before I walked into you " moments. (There's a reason my family calls me Gracie...) Since we both managed to avoid an almost collision at the front door it seemed only fair that we would strike up a conversation. We continued walking out of the building and into the parking lot and I discovered that we were parked near one another. So that was cool because it allowed for the conversation to continue until I happened to notice his car. Or rather his car window...

There it was, smack dab in the center of the window were 18" of vinyl in the most unfortunate baseball symbol you can find. This discovery could only mean one thing... he was a Yankees fan and like I said before I'm a Tigers fan. No questions. No excuses. And certainly no exceptions when it comes to the pinstripes ( I mean only prisoners and Yankees wear pinstripes). Unless you are a resident of New York who moved to the fabulous state or Michigan or you have a family member who a. owns the team or b. plays for them you have no reason to slap a decal on your car window. So I had to do the right thing, smile, say bye and drive away because sometimes you just have to take one for your team...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Old News and New Outlooks

So it turns out I took a break from blogging for a little longer than I intended to so here's a quick run down of things/life. Graduated from college and moved back in with the parents. Started my job as a Financial Aid Counselor (seriously. I laughed a little too so it's cool)  Found a different job more in my field working at Chelsea Hospital and learned all about the joys of 1-94 commuting. Decided it was time for a different car (so long hotel-motel we had a good run but your air freshener/smoke cover up smell was getting old). Got tonsillitis a lot so I lost my tonsils (and my voice for a few weeks after surgery). Planned/attended/did hair for a gazillion weddings including my sisters. Learned that I might have a future in wedding planning if the whole hospital deal goes no where. Attended lots of baseball games including one where I got to meet the Cardinals (mainly just Ger Bear though). Quit my job at Chelsea and got a new job at the U. Bought another car (longer commute required a car getting more than 19 MPG on the highway) and learned that my commute now included an hour drive and a 20-30 minute bus ride (all for the sake of free parking).  Had my tire blow out on I-94 during 5pm rush hour traffic (holy adventure. but don't worry I handled like a pro). After that I decided that commuting really was not enjoyable so I did a little house/apartment hunting and moved the day after Christmas. And that brings us to where we are now...

I can't promise that I'll actually do a decent job of blogging again but I figure it's a new year and it's time for a new adventure so why not attempt to write about it along the way?!