Monday, May 19, 2008

Playing hide and seek without hiding.

It's summertime! Doesn't really feel like it weather wise but there are boxes covering my floor, there's a new setup in my room, and I've had my first bonfire of the season. So basically all is right in my world now, or something like that. I have been looking forward to summer since spring semester started, and now it's here and I don't know quite what to make of it. I've said goodbye to some amazing friends, packed up way more stuff than any one person should own, and I've gotten to see the amazing friends that have said their own goodbyes and are now home.
It's so weird living in the same town that you go to school in. To some extent it doesn't really feel like summer or break because I'm still right here, the scenery hasn't changed much just the people have. So basically the only difference is that I'm living at home all the time now instead of a couple hours a day and a night or two a week (I spent way more time home than I have ever done in a semester) and that for the next few weeks I am free of classes. :) It's a good break in that sense.
This semester kicked my butt, between the course work, being sick a lot, stuff at home, and a appointment like every couple days I was all over the place. And somehow I still managed to pull off pretty decent grades. I think I even found a little of that change that I was looking for in Feburary.
Only problem is I don't know where to go from here. I don't really have any plans just a lot of unanswered questions, some what if's, and a couple different possibilities but I don't know what to do with any of it. Any attempts that I have made to sort it all out have failed. So I'm letting it go,but not in the sense that I'm quitting. I've learned a lot in recent months and it's time for me to act on it. I'm done hiding, and doing my own thing. I'm seeking and letting go of everything that I hold onto. I've thought a lot about what comes next and where I go from here. And I still don't have an answer. I just know that everything is going to be fine however it plays out.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. Then I will be found my you." -Jeremiah 29:11-14

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