When I was younger I used to go to camp for a week every summer. One year we were sent home with a block of wood that had words written on each side of it. PRAY-TAKE ACTION-LISTEN-COMMIT. Each word was a theme during the week, but that's really not important now. I had entirely forgotten about that summer at camp and the block of wood, until last night. I was cleaning out my closet when I found it commitment side up. :) Yeah that's right out of the four sides it could have been flipped to the word commit was there in big bold letters. Perhaps there's a reason I uncovered the block of wood in my closet.
In the past I've been a little afraid of commitment when it comes to relationships. I have a hard time letting people in past a certain point and once they are there all I want to do is push them out. No real reason that I do it, just not a fan of that whole vulnerability thing. Well that and up until now it wasn't the right timing (yep, I played that card!) I've tried to do the relationship thing on several different occasions and while they all got somewhere, they really went nowhere. Because I ignored the one relationship that I truely needed to commit to. Combine a girl that doesn't want to be vulnerable with a girl not sure where she's going/who she is. Then throw in a girl who's not on the right track with God and you've got yourself a commitaphobe. Not exactly the idea combination but I made it work for awhile. And over the past year it began to work less and less. So I was scrambling and making parts of it work. All the while I began to realize who I was and where I was going with a lot of help from God. It took a year or two of being something that I wasn't and a couple failed attempts at commitment to realize that I had one relationship to focus on. And focus on it I did.
So now I sit typing alway and staring down at the block of wood. Which suddenly seems to serve as a little reminder of where I was and where I now stand. As well as whats to come.
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