I think it's pretty safe to say that most of us know or have at least heard 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The verse itself never seems to get old as I always find myself looking at it a little differently each time I hear it. How cool is it that we have been given a sort of guide for love that not only applies to our families, signaificant others, brothers/sisters in christ, and our friends. The last one in particular is what I've been looking at differently as of late. Why not experiement a little and take out the word love and replace it with friendship. Instead of having a guide for love we have a guide for how friendship works.
“Friendship is patient, friendship is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Friendship does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Friendship never fails…”
Now it opens by saying that friendship is patient and kind, not always easy concepts to wrap our heads around. We live in a fast-paced society, and most strive for perfection, so it does not take very much to irritate us or make us impatient waiting for the end result. Someone asked you to wait for them, or to give them a little time, or maybe they are taking awhile to figure something out/understand what they are saying. And we're supposed to be patient?! Even when our buttons are being pushed and we are frusterated we're still supposed to have patience?! Yeah... I'll be the first to admit that I get tripped up here all too often. But take a second to think about it, how many times have we done the very same thing and someone else gave us the time to do whatever it was we needed.
Next we are told that friendship does not envy or boast, and it isn't proud. Ever find yourself comparing yourself to a friend. Wanting something that they have, or wishing you could do something as well as they can? Or maybe you are the better one because you can do something that they can't, or something comes more naturally to you. And you find yourself feeling a little prideful just because you can be. Not the best way to go about making or keep friends. Sure we are always going to have moments were we are prideful, envious, or jealous because we are human but that can't be the basis for doing something. But here's the thing, and get ready because it is a BIG secret. --> God made us all different for a reason! If we could all do the same things how boring would that be?! it's okay to not have the same things and abilities that our friends do, it's supposed to be that way.
We have a tendency to confuse what we can get from our friends/what they can do for us with what we can give to/do for them. Somewhere along the lines we created this idea that friendship is about our own selves and our needs, when really it should be directed outwardly towards others. Friendship is a two way street so we can't always be taking, taking, taking. We have to do a little giving, giving, giving to match it up. And while this sounds great in theory it is love that requires us to go against our own inclinations. It is not always a natural feeling to want to do/give/love/invest outwardly for others, instead of inwardly towards ourselves and our desires. If we use the verse as our guide and work to become more Christ-like we will learn to be a friend without expecting anything for ourselves in return.
