showing up for the movies a little too late

If only things were as simple as a retro pop song, "I want you to want me..." boom end of story. But it's never that easy, is it... As humans it's only in our nature to make mistakes. Living your life like the lyrics of a song or the script of a movie really isn't living. It's us wanting, no matter the situation we always want more, reguardless of what we need. We strive to make things closer to "perfect" and in that we become blind to what's going on. We become so absorbed in our wanting that we try to gain contol, when really we have no right at all. The beauty of it is that God gives us what we need not what we want. It's only when we listen to him that realize that. For the past 3 weeks he has been talking to be but i've been listening but I haven't acted on it. I've wanted to but in my pathetic attempt to keep a little contol of my life. I held on, but the longer i held on the more i hated it. I wanted to get rid of how I felt and what i was holding onto. And tonight it just hit me, Chelsea what the hell are you doing! It was like a brick wall, I've prayed over and over to let God have control. So why was i fighting it, and did i really even want what i was fighting it!? I took a deep breath and I let it all go. And i must say it feels amazing. Jesus is a good man and he knows exactley what he is doing! So why i question things I don't know.