I realize that it has been over a month since I last posted something on here and that isn't okay with me. The problem is I've been putting if off because I'm not really sure what I want to say, and I feel like it should be something kinda decent. I've also discovered that I really value my sleep time and that seems to interfer with my blogging time, but I'm working on it. Just bear with me because I'm pretty sure this is about to make zero sense.
Last Sunday night we had a Cambodia reunion get-together which was weird to be because we've been home for just over a month now and it doesn't really seem like it. Most of the time it feel like it has been longer, but there are also times when it feels like it has only been a few days. I miss it, a lot. I miss the people, the place, and how even in the crazyness of the city things were still pretty chill and simple. You didn't have to worry about being in 10 different places at once because there was no set schedule. It wasn't about the task at hand and getting things done it was about loving people and forming relationships. We put so much emphasis on work, or on what we should be doing that we lose sight of what is important. While it is important to get things done, we should be more concerned with building relationships and learning what it means to love people regardless of who they are, where they are from, and what they are going through. We spent a morning at an AIDS orphanage and originally the plan was to spend some time with the kids playing with them and entertaining them and after that we were going to paint and help out. But our plans changed (which they often did) it didn't take long to realize that all these kids wanted was your love and attention. They didn't care that you couldn't talk to them, and that we didn't know what to do with them. They were 110% comfortable with just being held and letting us love them. At first I found myself frusterated with this because I am pretty task oriented most of the time. But I quickly began to notice that it didn't matter, we were able to do for them exactly what they needed. As followers of Christ we are called to live and love people the way that He'd want us to and spending a few hours with a little kid in my arms was all the reminded that I needed of that.
Now that I'm home I find myself frusterated because it's hard not to look at things differently. But it is also difficult to change things around in my very comfortable life. My biggest thing was that I didn't want to come back and be cinical, but I also didn't want to come back and just stick this all on a box, on a shelf, and come back to it. And so far I feel like I've done that. Flipping through my journal and pictures the other night reminded me of a conversation we had during a debriefing session one night. We are so incredibly blessed because we have everything that need, and if we don't have it yet we can get it pretty easily. It's easy for us to complain about being poor college students but seriously?!? I don't think that most of us have a clue what it means to truely be poor. So we might not have an endless supply of cash at our disposal but we are rich in other ways. We are blessed with the support of family and friends who love us and stand by us when the going gets rough. We are blessed with an education even if we break the bank paying for it. And we are blessed with our freedom and our ability to choose how we live our lives.
